The Married Life: How is it?

My husband and I will be married for one year tomorrow! It is so unreal and it flew by! Just imagine whenever we have kids; I will feel so old. They usually say the first year of marriage is hard not including the fact that we are young. I know a lot of people say most couple who get married at a young age end up getting divorced and I am hoping it never comes down to it! However, in this blog post, I will be talking about the things I have learned while being married. Please note: being married is a life-long learning lesson.

What is marriage like?

A lot of people always fantasize about their wedding day and the honeymoon that comes right after it. Being married you must learn to accept things and understand that times will get hard so having your dream wedding or a honeymoon might not live up to your expectations. AND THAT IS OKAY! If you are wanting to marry your other half, you shouldn't care about any of the material things but what is right in front of you; the person you will spend the rest of your life with and hopefully one day, have children with.

My husband and I got married at last minute. Literally, on a Friday, he asked me if I wanted to get married Monday (mind you, we have been engaged for about two years!) since he didn't have to work. Our schedules were always so busy and we thought we could never find the time to sit down and plan our wedding let alone gather the money to cover the expenses AND the honeymoon. As excited as I was to be getting married to the love of my life, I started feeling sad on the inside because I knew our wedding wasn't going to be extravagant.

The most we spent on our wedding was our outfits: my wedding dress was around $200 and my husbands dress shirt and pants were a good $100. He wanted a tuxedo but no one would alter anything for him in such a short amount of time. We didn't even have a professional photographer! A lady we knew used my camera to take photos at the Church of God in Englewood, TN and the pastor there, married us. We actually never went on a honeymoon simply because we could not afford it. And that is totally okay.

Marriage is a roller coaster of emotions. It is tiring, irritating, amazing, confusing, annoying and loving. Every single day you learn more and more about your spouse and just how irritating they can be and vice versa. Then, you will begin doing things to annoy each other- on purpose! My husband and I bicker quite a lot over silly things then it turns into a laughing fit in the end when we realize how stupid it was.

Getting married was probably one of the best decisions I have made in my life! Despite how sometimes I literally want to slam my husband's face with a brick bat! I guarantee that he feels the same way sometimes.

Also, this is for the women: please be prepared to take care of him like his momma. I literally feel as if he acts like a child so I have to scold him like I am his mom. Oh, now let's not mention all the items of his you have to keep up with! And if you don't, the world is over in his eyes. It is kind of ridiculous. Please insert face-palm.

Most difficult about marriage?

Unlike dating, if you don't feel obligated to continue on with the relationship or you argue and it's easier just to walk away, it is much more difficult when you're married. If you decide to split, you have to hire lawyers and such just to get a divorce and you have to pay for that! Plus, let's not forget to mention how ugly the both of you could be during the divorce process.

Communication is key in all sorts of relationships and this is why most marriages/couples fail: because both parties are too stubborn and petty to own up to what they did wrong because they would rather not talk about it. Personally, I hate confrontation. But if my marriage is on the line? You can bet your whole life that I am willing to sit down with my husband and talk things out so that unbearable tension is gone and out of the way.

Marriage is all about learning as well as compromising. You aren't always going to get your way and neither is your spouse. You must learn to do things that the both of you enjoy!

Space is another important thing when it comes to marriage! Do you ever have a day where you just want to be left alone and away from all human contact? Everyone does. So if your spouse is acting cranky or being a butt-head, GIVE THEM SPACE. Walk away and go clean or read a book. It won't be the end of the world- I promise. You will have endless days to spend with your other half. Plus, I notice if my husband and I spend too much time together, I get annoyed easily and his presence just bothers me. That's when I say, "Hey, babe, I need some alone time." It is okay to state what you need.

What has marriage taught you?

There will forever be bad days and good days- sadly, life is not a fairy tale; this is reality where we want to scream, have time to ourselves, and just stay in and cry at movies. Not everything is rainbows and sunshine. However, when it comes to being married, you can come together and learn how to avoid these days or how to make up.

Marriage is a two-way streak. If you're participating in a three-legged race, it is very difficult to pull the weight of yourself as well as your other half in they don't care.

This is the best time of your life. With and without children. It just gets better when you create a small family. Or, get some pets! Cherish the moments; the bad and good. Be silly with one another. Date nights are essential! Be loving. Care for one another. Learn to forgive and move on.